DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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