the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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