there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize