This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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