Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
