If that was your dad, he is hot
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
