ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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