he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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