Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
