I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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