WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
