I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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