just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
