Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
