I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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