Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize