Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My balls are so social today.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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