what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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