So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize