It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
