Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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