just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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