Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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