True but thats because hes a fetus.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
