whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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