I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
