You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
