I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
