This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
