I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you win again, gameday.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
