I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize