why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
