Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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