yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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