they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize