if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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