I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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