Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
