All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
