awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
