you're like a bully in the Christmas story
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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