I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
