Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
