Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
