Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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