I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
