his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
