my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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