420 ftw
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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