Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
