i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize