Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
high people should be assigned attendants
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
