marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
