Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
