Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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