mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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