you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
